remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The air was thick with penises
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
