We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
