so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
