is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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