so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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