Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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