The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
