Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
