I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
