Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We have started to decorate penises.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We're too hungover to prance.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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