You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
