I want to make a zoo with you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
