Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
