C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Boobs speak an international language.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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