This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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