God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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