we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
