Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
