This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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