He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
