Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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