I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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