talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
