Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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