I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
