I'm drive I can fine osifer
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
