hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
