.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
