what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
