Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
