My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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