I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
