Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
