Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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