Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
