I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
