We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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