Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
