Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
