I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
