she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
