I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
