puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
