Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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