He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wish you could order shots online.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
