It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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