Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
