They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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