Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
