honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
