Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
